Why does Hollywood skank up the Millennials?

Like a lot of people, I watched the AMAs recently. And like many, many, many people, I thought Adam Lambert's performance was inappropriate and vulgar. As someone who is quite liberal in her views and someone who went to journalism school, I think Lambert should be allowed to express himself - but he seems like a smart guy and I think he should know better.

Lambert says that people are upset about his performance because he's gay. I would say it's because he simulated oral sex on stage. I don't care whose head he put to his crotch - I don't need to see it. Some people argue that kids may be watching. I argue that I AM WATCHING.

I also think that Lambert saying this is a gay issue is extremely demeaning to gays. Is he REALLY trying to tell us that this is the gay experience - orgies with whips, chains, and a lot of aggression?

Earlier in the AMA show, Carrie Underwood came out all skanked up, too. Granted, she wasn't engaging in simulated group sex, but she wore an outfit that looked like her panties were showing.

I guess I'm just not getting it. These are two really talented people. We're tuning in to hear your voice - not see your privates.

Now bear with me on this. I know I'm writing a little long today, but sometimes that's just how my brain works.

Last night my husband and I watched Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, which starred Gen X poster boy John Cusack. That got me thinking about our own X entertainment icons. Cusack, Garofolo, Ringwald, Dr. Dre, 2Pac, Fey, Elliott, Wahlberg, Wilson, Diaz. It's not that they're squeeky clean - but getting (or giving) a BJ on stage?

I guess I'm having a hard time getting my head around this idea. Seems like if you're a talented Millennial in entertainment who's starting to get some attention then it's time to show your panties. Or your boobies. Or to gyrate the franks and beans in some one's face.

Maybe that's the 21st Century version of getting old - you don't understand why talent can't just stand its own.

Muppets cover "Queen" song - should I be upset?

Several weeks I wrote about how upset I was that Where the Wild Things was made into a movie. There was quite the debate from readers.

Today, I came across the Muppets "cover" of Bohemian Rhapsody - and I don't have the same feelings of indignation. Should I?



You got to love Animal :)

Will Gen X men lead the way to family-friendly workplaces?

I had a really cool experience recently. I got to sit down with a group of Gen X professionals and talk about the issues that are affecting our careers – and our lives.

One issue that came up was regarding Gen X men and fatherhood and work. One guy in the group said, “I can’t stay late. Maybe 30 years ago I could work 15 hours a day, because maybe my wife would stay home. But we have kids and my wife has a job and we have stuff to do.”

And the other guys in the audience nodded. And the gals, too.

In the last century, we were rewarded for taking longer to do our work. You must have worked really hard on that project if it took you 8 hours to complete rather than 4. Today, it just sounds ridiculous.

I wonder if in this century it will be Gen X men who will be fighting for family-friendly workplaces. It makes sense. There’s probably even more pressure on them from older guys to give it all to the company (in some ways, I think it’s a lot easier for a woman to get a pass when it comes to these issues.) If I were a guy, I would think it’s ridiculous that I was expected to spend more time away from family because of my gender.

What do you think?

Why I'm thankful for my crappy old job

A few years ago, I fell into what I would call a clinical depression over things that were going on at my old job. I wasn't diagnosed and they didn't have to lock me up somewhere, but it was pretty bad.

Two things happened that really got me over that hump - my despair turned to anger and then strength. And I got a new job - which turned out to be my dream job (and I don't say that lightly, because I've been working since I was 15 years old and up until getting my current job, the job I was most happy at was being a lifeguard when I was 17).

The thing I'm really thankful for is that from working in a toxic environment (with a group of people I like to call "the monkeys,") is an great appreciation for the people I work with now. My job is cool. I like what I do. But what makes it the dream job is working with a group I now refer to as "my peeps."

You know when your at a crappy job and think, why don't they just (fill in the blank - i.e. treat people well, have some trust, not treat me like I'm a monkey, too, etc.)? The people I work with do the smart things.

However, I can't imagine if I had to go through a toxic work environment in this job market, because I truly believe the only thing to do is to move on and it's really tough to find a new job right now. As Ron White says, you can't fix stupid - and the people usually responsible for these situations aren't bad, evil people. They're just a little on the stupid side. I say that (and I know from having elementary school-age children, "stupid" is the newest swear word), because these situations are usually created from your boss taking a dump on your head - and if you're a boss and you're doing this you must be stupid for not realizing that taking a dump on some one's head will piss them off and they will not want to do good work.

I've had a lot of friends go through this, too, and what we all feel is this lightness now that we're out of those situations. For me that lightness is not just from getting out of a crappy job, but also from truly believing that I will be taken care of (by God, the universe, whatever you believe in). And now I'm grateful every day for my work and I have compassion for the people I work with.

So I'm writing this for anyone who's going through this right now. It'll be okay. Use your current situation to learn something - even if it's how NOT to treat people.

What happens in the end is that you get really strong and you learn how to be good to the people around you.

Who delegates the best?

So I came across this blog that was discussing delegating - and said that the Boomers are the "masters" of delegating. This has not been my experience, but then again, it is possible that my experience is unique. A lot of the Boomers I've worked with have had a hard time letting go of things, because they want the process to be a certain way and - even if you come to desired result.

While I'm writing this, the blogger in question has not yet chimed in on how Xers and Millennials delegate, but I'm assuming she will say that we're not as good as the Boomers (which is fine for her to say, because blogs are about our opinions).

My experience, however, has been that Xers are willing to let go of tasks, but don't always give enough direction to those they're delegating to (unless it's another Xer). That's because, as my husband would say, the Xer mantra is "f*$#ing figure it out." My experience with Millennials (which has been mostly in the classroom as an instructor) is that they're great at delegating and dividing up the work, because they've spent so much of their youth working in teams.

But, again, I don't have any empirical data on any of this. So I figured that I ask you all. Below is a poll. Feel free to comment, too, if you like.

Why I won't be seing Where the Wild Things Are

So I guess you could say I'm more than a little pissed off that they've turned the children's book Where The Wild Things Are into a movie. I posted something to my Facebook page about it this morning - and I got nine comments. I was really surprised that of those comments only my husband and my friend Kathy agreed with me.

There were two main reasons my Facebook friends thought making the movie is okay - 1) Maurice Sendak approved of the project and 2) We should embrace other people's interpretations of books through the medium of film.

Those are legitimate reasons. However, nobody will ever change my mind. Here's why: I am sick of everything being over-exposed, over-commercialized, and made into toys for Happy Meals. In a world where it's perfectly okay to market your products to children, Where The Wild Things Are was a gem that stood the test of time and hadn't been feed to the marketing machine - until now.

Remember when The Beatles song Revolution was used to sell Nikes? (That one's for you Boomer readers, because I really don't care about The Beatles).

Remember when Preparation H tried to buy the rights to Johnny Cash's Burning Ring of Fire?

Remember when JC Penney bastardized The Breakfast Club in a commercial last year?

I could go on and on about this - and I encourage you to add examples in the comments section. But my point is that everything doesn't need a Hollywood slant. Everything doesn't need to be made into a movie. And I don't give a shit about Spike Jonze's interpretation of Where The Wild Things Are.

I know some of my readers will think I'm the one who's full of shit, to which my response is "Let the wild rumpus start!"

How being like Hannibal Lector can help your career

I’ve been thinking a lot about career issues lately. Mostly because someone very close to me is having career issues – and they aren’t really issues you think you’re going to have mid-career.

A lot of Gen Xers are struggling with this. It’s the square-peg effect. I thought it was just me for a lot a years, but when I talked to other Gen Xers it seems there’s a whole bunch of us who feel like we don’t fit the mold.

What I’ve come up with (through the studies and other writings I’ve found along with my own observations) is that Gen X is simply doing it differently than those who came before us.

Here’s how:
1. We have redefined success. Making money is good, but we’re willing to sacrifice some of that for control over our time.

2. A lot of us a true knowledge workers. Management is a trap. We’d rather write, than watch people write or solve engineering problems rather than watch people solve engineering problems. For a whole bunch of Xers, management is about watching others do the job you love.

As someone who for the last two years has had the career experience she’s always wanted, I thought I’d give a shot at some suggestions for getting the job that’s best for you.

You really do need to figure out what you want. For me, I’m happiest when I get to help others through my job. But I don’t have a job like social worker or doctor or rescue worker. I’m in marketing. I used to ask myself – how does that help other people? Well, it turns out that all those bad experiences I’ve had were useful. A big part of my job right now is helping other marketers with their work (and with dealing with what we will call the “difficult” people at work.)

Find the right boss. A lot of people think it’s all about the work. For me, it’s all about the boss. When I’ve had bosses who understand me, I was happy. When I had bosses who didn’t, I was miserable. The right boss for me may not be the right boss for you. What do you need? A mentor? Someone who’s hands off? A drill sergeant?

Be like Hannibal Lector. No, not a cannibal. Patient. Hannibal Lector was very patient in stalking his prey. Patience at work was one of the hardest things for me to learn. But if you want to accomplish your goals, you need other people to do it. And most of the time it takes time to get them to see your way.